In high school I was incredibly shy, the thought of being called on in class and having to answer a question filled me with panic. With the exception of giving speeches, I did not talk in class.
So how did I go from this, to starting a debate in class? Well, after high school I went on to college and after several semesters I decided full time study was not for me and chose to worked part time while studying only part time. After a few years of working I was taking a paper that involved some theory similar to what I was doing at work. The tutor was saying one thing that I knew was wrong, so in a class of about 30 others I questioned her. She stuck by her notes and I argued my point. It’s not so much that I started a debate where before I was scared to speak. But that I did so with no anxiety or nervousness.
So how did this happen, what caused the change?
The key was that I expanded my comfort zone. And I did this by getting a job. The simple fact of getting a job and stepping outside my comfort zone was the main reason my shyness reduced. Expanding my comfort zone resulted in my confidence being increased. Part of this is due simply to having more life experience. But mostly it was because the job meant I was now interacting with different people, clients and co-workers in many different situations. To be honest this was quite scary initially, but that soon went away (and quicker that I had expected).
Before the job I would have been scared to go and ask a stranger a question now it was no big deal. Asking clients for the required information soon became just another task. So when I was taking a required paper, and the tutor starts teaching something I knew was wrong, I felt very confident in speaking up.
Your shyness.
So when are looking at your own shyness and wondering how to start to overcome one of the best pieces of advice I can give is to find something that you are passionate about and use that as a reason to interact with others. A job is one of many options. What about joining a sports team, a community theatre group, or volunteer for a cause you feel passionate about. Each can lead you to expand your comfort zone and reduce shyness in your life.
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